Monday, December 26, 2005

Yellow Roses at Christmas

With a sadness in her eyes that threatened tears, Mrs. Mink turned away from her students. They all looked up at her, everyday, with what she felt were eyes that conversed directly with their impressionable minds. What they saw in her, their minds translated as appropriate for them. And for students to learn that it was ok to cry in front of others was simply an abomination for Mrs. Mink. She would never allow such a traversty of her impeccable teaching record to occur. No matter how much the tears stinging in her eyes threatened, nor how much the splitting of her stone heart distracted her from her teaching. She reasoned that she must maintain the façade, so that she may maintain the respect from her students.

Not one of the twenty-three students sitting in Mrs. Mink's classroom that day failed to see how she avoided displaying the slightest emotion at any time. They felt this a little extreme, but then everything about Mrs. Mink was extreme. She was, it was only fair to say, extremely strict, and expected only the very best from each and every one of her students. It was this tenacity and inspiring-cum-frightening spirit that had earned Mrs. Mink mythical status and that had glorified her in the eyes of her pupils, no matter how much they had despised her at any one time. Although they had all felt raped of any energy or ability to give after her tutelage, each found that she had impacted their lives far beyond punishment for incomplete homework. She had been an inspiration in many forms, mostly good but occasionally bad, for all twenty-one years of her teaching career. Now, however, as she stood bereaved in front of her class, they saw beyond her starkly polished image. They began to see that behind the thick-framed glasses, the tightly pinned and slightly greying hair, the drawn eyebrows and rouge, pencil-thin lips; hidden by the conservatively worn white blouse and black knee length skirt, honey stockings and sensible black heels, was a human being. Her humanity had never been as apparent as it was on this day; but no student would comfort her, because each knew the wrath to be incurred should any of them recognise and comment on this humanity.

Mrs. Mink herself had never considered herself extraordinary. Born Laura Mink and, as she had pledged, remaining Laura Mink until death do attain her, she was a self-confessed 'woman with substance.' She had never believed teaching to be 'just a job', but something for which her purpose was inextricably linked to. She took teaching as seriously as one may take living or breathing itself. She took interest in her students, but only ever from the sidelines; she never entangled a student in their own politics. She prided herself on being fair; often, to the detriment of student favour, but always to the benefit of their education. She never favoured students - at least, not openly. As with every teacher, she had her special students - students who had captured her mind with their brilliance, or heart with compassion. None had so much as Pat Joyeux. Though Mrs. Mink had sworn not to take a shining to one student over others, she could not help herself with Pat. Pat (who had asked never to be called Patrick) was what she would call a wonder-child. He was smart - both naturally and by his own hard work - he was kind, generous, loving and charming and was a stickler for rules and regulation, adhering with ease to every rule imposed on students. Above all, he dedicated to giving everything his all, all of the time. Mrs. Mink did not think it possible to find such a student - one whom she considered the closest to perfection she would probably ever find. However, perfection had embodied itself in Pat and had watched her, learnt from her and taught her for one full year. It was the most wondrous of all years Mrs. Mink had spent in teaching. Apart from his intelligence and learning capacity, Pat had come into his own in Mrs. Mink's class. He had been, by previous descriptions, as wondrous as he had been in her class in all his previous classes, albeit a little shy. However, as the year progressed and Mrs. Mink went out of her way to make him feel comfortable with his peers, he had grown and become the charming young man she would remember him as.

In third term, Mrs. Mink set the class project, following on the theme of plant-life. Each student was to select a flower, detailing its origins and all subsequent particulars. Pat had chosen the yellow rose, a slightly odd if not intriguing choice. As Mrs. Mink had marked the class projects, she had not been able to draw herself away from Pat's, which was by no means less than exquisite for a 10 year-old boy. He had photographed yellow roses, had been to several nurseries, collected samples and had written extensively on the plant as a whole. Mrs. Mink had quickly given it the top mark of the class. Pat was never a braggart for his achievements, however he had been most pleased with his mark and had displayed the project on his desk. A jealous classmate, most likely, had taken the project. Pat, not to mention Mrs. Mink, was devastated. He did not anger himself at anyone - simply sat sobered for the rest of the day, sketching roses. Mrs. Mink was, once again, touched by his maturity.

As the end of the year had approached, and gifts from parents had crossed from her desk to her drawer, Pat, whose parents Mrs. Mink had never met, brought her a single yellow rose from his garden, telling her that his mum had sent it, and told him to say thank you. It was, by far, the most touching gift she had ever received, and the rose remained, to this day, pressed inside the 1987 edition of Encyclopaedia Britannica "P".

Years had passed. Many of her ex-students visited, many more wrote letters, emails, postcards, each detailing successes they were eager for Mrs. Mink to acknowledge. Pat only ever contacted her once a year - a single yellow rose at Christmas - but it was all Mrs. Mink needed to know he was still alive and well. She wondered, often, how he was doing. His notes were never extensive, only ever saying "Thank you for teaching me how to learn", and although this was always pleasant for Mrs. Mink, never satisfied her desire to learn of his undoubted successes.

On a night close to Christmas break, Mrs. Mink was, like all dedicated school teachers, browsing through boxes of work and worksheets left from years gone by. She was sifting through a miscellaneous box that had yielded very little and was headed for immediate disposal when, lo and behold, Pat's project surfaced. She had gasped, amazed that she had somehow come into possession of this treasure. As she leafed through the carefully drawn pages, the depth of knowledge contained for one so small, a tear had formed involuntarily in her eye. She felt a feeling that is like the elixir for teachers - the one that reminds them why they teach. She remembered now, what it was to feel passion for teaching, and that for all her dispassionate deliveries to mindless students intent only on the lunch bell or each other, there was always one that would render them all ineffective in dampening her love for the profession. She had wept, then and then, for the way Pat had touched her life.

Invigorated, she had taken to the phone book. She reasoned that 'Joyeux' would be a particularly uncommon name, and was delighted when this proved correct. The only 'Joyeux' listed were the initials of Pat's parents, I M and J T, and empassioned by this discovery, wrote down the address on a post-it, stuck it to the project and resolved to visit after school the next day.

At 4pm, Mrs. Mink rang the bell on the residence of I M and J T, excited to see how they would react, and, if he was home, how Pat would remember her. She had changed drastically over the 16 years since she had seen him. He would be a man now, of 26. She felt suddenly silly, and had almost turned to leave when the door opened.
"Hello?" a man's voice inquired through the dark steel mesh.
"Hello, I'm Laura Mink. I'm not sure if you remember me, but..."
"Mrs. Mink? I know who you are... May I ask why you're here?"
"I have something of Pat's that he may appreciate." Mrs. Mink felt silly again.
"Oh. Righto. Well... you'd better come in, I suppose. Jen's in the kitchen, I think." There was a slight pause.
"Jen! Come here a moment, love." he yelled. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Mrs. Mink could make out the outline of a second person.
"Hello, Mrs. Mink, I'm Jennifer, Pat's mother. You... you had better come inside."
The door opened, and Mrs. Mink stepped inside. The warm summer day outside had not permeated the cool hallway. Jennifer led her into the lounge.
"Would you like a drink? A coffee, some water, perhaps?" Mrs. Mink shook her head.
"No, no, I'm really only her to drop something off. Is Pat home, at all?"
Jennifer looked at her husband. He shifted uncomfortably, and gave a slight nod to his wife. She looked back at Mrs. Mink.
"Mrs..."
"Laura, please."
"Laura... I don't know how else to say this, but... Pat was killed in February."
Mrs. Mink opened her mouth. She closed it again.
His mother continued. "Pat was serving in Sudan. He worked with UNICEF... he was over there for a couple of months, to help orphaned and lost children. He was shot by a man who thought he was trying to take his daughter away. It was.... is, awful. I..." she began to sniff, sighed loudly, and wiped the corners of her eyes, apparently not giving in to crying.
"There was no worse time for it. He and his fiancèe, Sian, were due to be married in June...I just... I knew he wrote to you occasionally, but I couldn't find your address anywhere, and we'd heard you moved schools... I'm sorry, Mrs. Mink."
Mrs. Mink, galvanised by the 20 seconds she had had to steel herself from crying, shook her head. "There's no need to apologise, Mrs. Joyeux, I completely understand. I... I don't know what to say to you, other than I'm sorry." She looked down at the project she held in her hands.
"Perhaps... perhaps you'd like to have this. It's a project he did in my class. On yellow roses."
Mr. Joyeux, who had been sitting silently next to his wife, stifled what sounded like a cry out. Mrs. Mink looked down at her hands again. She was obviously reviving pain for these people.
Jennifer looked over. "His project on yellow roses? He was so proud of that project. I don't think I've ever seen him so eager to please as he was on that. I think he did more work than play that term. No... you keep it Mrs. Mink. We have enough to remind us of Pat here. You... you keep it. Please."

As Mrs. Mink emerged into the baking summer sunshine, she felt colder than she had inside the house. She felt as if a blanket had been laid over her, and all happiness drained from every inch of her body. The project in her hands felt like a death sentence, and she cast it sadly into the passenger seat as she collapsed over the steering wheel in grief.

She had to continue at school, there was no question. Everyday to the end of the year, she drew a rose in the corner of her blackboard, and in the centre wrote the initials "PJ". Her students never asked why, and she never told.

As the last day of term approached, Mrs. Mink thought sadly of the summer holidays she would have to endure now. She could not understand why she felt so alone; after all, she had not spoken to Pat properly in over 16 years. Yet, for some reason, she felt like the loneliest person alive. Presents of perfume and chocolates, candles and drawings, were not enough to console her sense of loss, and her realisation that she would not receive a yellow rose this year.
At 7am, on the last day of term, Mrs. Mink arrived to prepare the classroom for the class party to be held that day. With no one else around, she opened the door to her classroom, and flicked on the lights. Her eye was immediately drawn to her desk, on which sat a bunch of yellow roses. Tears welled in her eyes as she walked over to the mass of yellow flowers, their perfume charming her senses until she could not smell it for her blocked nose. She sat down, and picked up an envelope, and, sobbing with happiness, sadness and pride, she opened it. Inside was a picture of Pat, age 10, standing in his garden with a yellow rose and his project. She turned it over, and felt as if she would explode, as she read his last message to her:

" Thank you for teaching me how to learn."

Friday, December 23, 2005

These old bones

It had been fourteen years since Maureen had died. Fourteen years to the day; perhaps even the hour, if the clocks were still going as they had been fourteen years ago. Barty felt no different today than he had at thirteen years, at ten years, or even the day after she had died. He felt a sense of loneliness. A loneliness he reasoned could never be filled, and which he was reminded of with each empty sigh that caught him off guard.

As he looked out, his eyes crinkling into slits as he surveyed his now parched land, he felt a twinge of sadness that he had not kept up the property that he and Maureen had built together, like he had promised her he would. "Keep it like it is, Barty. Don't let's ever change it. Just like it is; and just like we are. Keep it as our place, my darling." They had been her words. They had echoed in his thoughts every day since she had said them, yet he never felt guilty enough to do them justice. This was no longer his place. He didn't know where his place was, anymore. He longed for it, searched for it. He had searched in towns, in women, in bars in remote postings into the early hours. Yet he had not found his place again. So, the porch-swing now stood rusted and unused, except by resident spiders and cocooned flies. The front steps creaked under every step, threatening him with a broken hip every time he ventured from the house. Each night was a new venture. Each night, the gears cranked his old car into life, and he began his search anew to find his place, his Maureen, the one he had lost. Now however, the sun still shone. The landscape was browned and dusty. No propertier had ever bothered him; there was nothing to value here. An empty sadness shifted in him as the wind changed and the cooler breeze flecked dust off his fingers. He felt he was missing something. He could feel it, sparkling and spittling away from his fingertips, barely tangible in the mist floating over his eyes, but definitely there. He felt urgency, he felt panic, along with calm and reassurance. Perhaps, he thought, I am to find my place tonight. A nervous flow of blood began through his tired body.

As the sun set slowly over the hills at the furthest expanse of the property, a flicker crossed Barty's tired old face; an eagle, coming to rest nearby. Barty did not see the eagle. He had found it. It had come; albeit fourteen years too late, but it had come. The emptiness he had felt, and the loneliness that had consumed him in place of his wife were both fulfilled. As the last rays of light descended over the hills, darkness fell over his tired old bones. Now, they were only bones. At last, death had come, and had taken him to Maureen, to his place.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

No thanks!

I seem to say this to a lot of people, so I might as well just post it here to save myself the annoying trouble.

If you are my friend, I have a friendy-obligation to you. This entails listening to you if you have something you need to talk about, seeing you once in a while, keeping in contact, respecting your opinion and respecting you. Now, if you have a problem and I offer to help you, or you talk about it and I listen, PLEASE DON'T THANK ME. It's all part of this friendship deal. I would expect you to do the same for me. I don't want thanks, that's not what I'm in it for. So, please accept my help/ear/whatever without thanks. It's just an insult to what I like to think of as my good nature.

Ta loves!

xox

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Don't feel like it

There are times when i just don't feel like blogging, and do you know what , this is one of these times. I'm tired and annoyed and it's crap. Annoyed at alan for saying crap, annoyed at weird friends of people i don't know hassing one of my friends, annoyed that i am annoyed! i was in a bloody good mood about 5 minutes ago. to hell with you all, im going.

Friday, December 16, 2005

The ups and downs of an airborne submarine

Yeah... so I really just felt like writing something silly like that.

I wish more of us could understand what is going on in war zones. There are so many wars going on every day - so many people going on everyday, that we just either don't think about or aren't forced to think about, and so we simply don't. No one thinks about children living in the still-ravaged Dafur region in Sudan. None of us surfs sites, looking for ways to help. None of us look to refugees in perth, extending the hand of friendship, of normality. No one seeks to find out more about why Lebanese people are seeking to live in this country. How many, look to why it is that not only the president (president? or other eg pm) of lebanon was killed and why a reporter heavily involved in the saga was killed only recently, and how this is linked to syrian intervention and why this has caused unrest in the region. No one seeks to understand the problems outside our own shores. It would do us - and all those who come to this country - a great deal to simply try and put ourselves in those places. Even though we watch the news, live 8, world vision adverts, and cry, feel bad, give money - we do not try to achieve the easiest, the most difficult, and similarly the most vital part of the entire process of helping people - understanding.

-

Friday, December 09, 2005

I am a title

N is for never, will I have to go back to school!
O is for ooooh yeah, I am so cool

M is for med, which marky will so get
O is for ocular, the lens i will now forget
R is for really good, that we have finished class
E is for english lit, that I hope I will pass

S is for sucky, for those who have to go back
C is for cool (that's us, who are slack)
H is for hooray! Uni here we come
O is for orrsome, 2.5 months to bum!
O is for OK, how it feels to leave school
L is for LEAVERS, now THAT was cool!

Yay acrostic.

xXrosie

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Postie

It's just a OH ALWAYS GREENER IS ON! Ok, i'm back. Hehe, i left at 2:10 and it's now 2:44. I sorta went to the shop down the road and bought sour cream cos i randomly felt like nachos. I didn't eat that much but now i feel sick. Mango frûche will fix that.

Yeah... so. I've been browsing quite a few blogs lately and it seems everybody is into posting on deep things, posting on deep thoughts. I'm appreciating how articulate everybody is and how much everyone thinks about... well, everything. I suppose I can't articulate what im trying to say - which is kind of ironic, but it just blows me away how intelligent the people i know are. I suppose this is just a big compliment to anyone who reads this. And although I am severely lacking, at this point in time, in what appears to be any skill in wielding the english language to my advantage, i just want to say - y'all keep posting now, 'cos you got some real good thoughts goin' on.

xxrosie

ps because i was *sniff* accused of 'starting to do something that someone else was doing' i will, in a couple of days, be changing my signoff. hrmph.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I CAN NOW DO TITLES!

Well, apart from being superbly talented in a variety of fields including being cool and wearing hats to a frighteningly super-good degree, i am now also a master of this, this being posting and posting with the ultimately classy addition of a TITLE!! :D

So, what changes now that i can do titles. Well... lets see!

It is true that:
  • You will now have a conveniently simple way of establishing which posts you desire to read and which you will steer clear of for hygiene/faith-incurred reasons
  • My blog is now really, really classy
  • Titles mean that I am cool

It is not true that:

  • My blog will now start flashing upon voice command
  • I have moved to Tuvalu and am performing these incredible acts as a result of supernatural intervention
  • The Tripitake was my inspiration for this blog
  • Interpolation is now my last name by deed poll.

After not posting on this site for a really really long time, i now feel obliged to do a little update. After indulging in many many after party glasses of apple and kiwi cordial, school finished. Leavers happened, occured and is now a faint memory, barring my outstanding warrant for arrest for assault occasioning bodily harm. Many people also happened, and in this controversial update i may just have to name a few things/people that DID occur...

  • Anna got with Tim
  • Lana got with Glen
  • Chelsea got with Alex
  • Rhiannon cheated on Jon with approximately 406.34 men and then grew another foot.
  • Jess got with Lepsie (if you didn't know, you haven't been alive for the past two weeks)
  • In a getting-with marathon, Jess also got with a guy called Nick
  • Leon got with ______ (this really is a little too controversial to be actually documented)
  • David got with Tiana
  • Rosie got with NO ONE! woot ($20 richer)
  • Rosie's 400 year old tent leaked
  • Annas glasses were stolen. Or misappropriated in such away that led Anna to believe that the guy who picked them up had done so with the intention of not returning them
  • Lana got roaring drunk and interrupted songs by Hoju, Lawrence and Tim while Mark was barely alive on the bed
  • James managed to NOT abuse anyone under severe inebriation
  • Emma didn't come to leavers
  • Nor did Steph
  • Alex Tempone was resented by a large proportion of the Scotch house for seducing all their women-folk
  • We left David at a bakery
  • Adrian Khoo got sloshed on two beers and projectile vomited (of his own claiming) all over the Scotch kitchen.
  • Adrian also stole Malibu so he could feel that 'floaty, dizzy feeling' faster
  • Mark consumed in excess of 10 standard drinks in as many minutes and succumbed to unconsciousness in a similar time span.
  • My leavers jumper was spewed on
  • Toolies were EVERYWHERE
  • There was a significant UNabundance of hot boys available for spying on with misappropriated binoculars
  • A huge bonfire on the beach incurred with arrival of a fire engine and police who 'shut that shit down'.
  • Daytimes were boring
  • An aptly named Scat tried to seduce Rhiannon to no avail. She had had her share earlier in the day with the 406.34 men
  • The pancakes - sorry ladies - were gross
  • It rained and it sucked
  • An airhorn was the main source of amusement on Saturday night
  • Friday night ROCKED OUT (go man)
  • Man was seduced by a joolie/julie (junior schoolie)
  • No one with anything immoral! or did they...
  • Jeremy and Richard thought that a 440mL solo was good value.. yeah... right...
  • The Scotch house cooked linguini and crèpes with lemon juice and sugar while we had sausage rolls and pies and mee goreng. (that's the asian spelling, btw)
  • Many, many people tried to crash the scotch house, and i have discovered in a number of blogs references to their wistful stares and longings for entry. HA.
  • Scotchies were awesome in opening their house (and their minds, i think) to us
  • Lana and I met double bass guy from phil and his name is TIM and he was cool! and i got his number... even though i dont actually remember getting it
  • Everyone bar me walked into busselton... aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
  • Dunsborough SUCKED while busso ROCKED OUR WORLD
  • I... MAY have got a message
  • The bouncy pillow gave me whiplash. Honestly.
  • Heaps of guys were ultra sleazy
  • So much alcohol was consumed that it was no unusual for people to get hangovers in the middle of the next day, subsequently crashing and burning
  • When we came back, the oft heard word to describe the phenomenon was 'weird'.

It was an interesting time. And i mean that in that way you use when you have someone asking you if you like their crappy jumper, or if the sex was good and you're like "it's.........interesting". But it was also a wicked (ladsy trash, if you're tim and its still your msn name) time and a sad time, in that many of the people i will never see again... actually, let me take that back (figuratively, because if i deleted it, you wouldn't really understand) and say THAT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY. Well, some people anyway.

To all the friends I will lose over time, I hope you got something from our friendship (although, if it's my ipod, i'd appreciate a cheque in the mail) and that you make something worthwhile of the life you have to live, because if you don't, it will suck, look bad that i was your friend, and basically be bad for all of us. Do good stuff, and good stuff shall follow.

To the friends I made, it was awesome to meet you. I hope you go into the following category, and not the prior. I hope i get to know more about you and that we can explore the future (BEING 18 OH YEAH) in a way that is good (if you're hot) and educational (if you're not).

To the friends I will keep, thank you.

xxrosie

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sigh!

Well now that excitement has abated a little...

I'm going to have a talk with myself! Lol. I'm sorry, but I have to lament. Why, oh why, do I ALWAYS have to like people that don't like... omg... that Hugh Laurie guy has an English accent! weird...
oops... sidetracked...

yeah. So why? I know it's EVERYone's lament and EVERYONE gets it yadiyadiya... but sigh. I am afraid i'm sick of people telling me how "it's all just waiting for you in the future" or "you'll find the right person one day" or "there's someone out there for you" or "people who don't like you are just stupid." WELL I'm sorry, but whoever says that , unless you're female, IT MEANS YOU'RE STUPID TOO! What i want to know is
  • why can't i find mr. not-so-right-but-close-enough-to-right-now-he'll-do
  • why subtle hints seem to fall on deaf ears... if you get it, just say that you're not interested!
  • why guys let you waste your time on them when you could be over that hill in two shakes of a whatchamacallit and onto the next
  • why guys are stupid
i guess i can answer most of them myself. Still. It's stupid.

If you're reading this and thinking "what a desperado", please find a pistol and insert it into your mouth an depress the trigger. I am not a desperado. What i am is a choleric! (angry, for those of you not versed in the ways of choleric, sanguine, melancholy and phlegmatic) It is so annoying. Maybe, just maybe, i haven't cared about being single. In fact, it's quite nice and i think i'd have a hard time changing (not that i wouldnt! don't take that as a nada!) but it's just ALL those people with all their sympathy and kind words and crappy mccraptastic that just rubs it in that little bit more. If there is such a general concensus that I'm some sort of dish ready to be served, i wanna know why i'm about to become salmonella'd, infected with e coli and chucked out. (i like the metaphors... the analogies, if you will). Maybe i'm too confronting? I don't know. I don't disillusion myself into thinking that i could be physically attractive, although it would be nice to think that at least SOMEONE could be enchanted by my personality! If my personality is bland, then whatever. Oh - and any smart alec who wants to comment on here about my personality being crap or i'm a crap person or whatever - go to hell, i'm not talking to you. This post is for my friends, and in no way are you welcome on this blog, or any blog of mine for that matter.

Back to mein story, mein rant, mein lament, mein bemusement with the state of my psyche :) I have summed up that, although it would be nice to be noticed - i like to lament. I like it a lot. Let's face it, friends of the girl variety - isn't it more fun to sit around and complain about guys, and your love life, and everything else like that - than have to be with a guy? They're only short term after all! :p One for all Rosie's single ladeez (now how hardKore is that) out there. Peace out. I'm rambling, i'm bored. I'M IN LOVE!!

xxrosie
WELL! I am just writing a brief message on here to tell you all that I AM FEEEENEEEESHED forever! TEE is over. It is OVER. I am finished. Thank you.

That is all

xxrosie

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Hello all!

Well, I will probably make a few entries on this tonight.. just cos I'm avoiding lit study.

Ok, because I just discovered the thing up the top of this where I can make lists, I'm going to make a list. Yes, i know. My lists are hard to top. So far on my msn space I've made the Lana's blunders and 41. t hings about being a viola lists, and they are going to be hard to beat. So, I won't try. I'm going to make a list now.

Things I love about:

  1. My Friends
  • They are always there at the exact moment you realise you haven't got enough money to buy whatever it is you're trying to buy
  • ... and they have money
  • They know what you're thinking about (although this isn't ALWAYS a good thing)
  • they do funny dances at parties with you when everyone else is asleep
  • you can make the worst joke in the world yet they'll still find it funny, or manage to make it funny by saying "now, imagine if you said that instead of laughing..."
  • they pretend to like the music you like, even when you play it to them on the phone ALL the time and they really hate it.
  • they read your blog, even when you know it's a heap of crap
  • politics just never enters the equation (that is you+me=friends... it's never you+me=friends, given that you are inclined to my political beliefs, also written as (friendsyour beliefs = my beliefs) yeah that's right APPLIED KNOWLEDGE i should have done applic
  • you can laugh at them, not just with them, and it doesn't matter
  • they put up with me constantly talking... that applies to lana
  • if you don't have an inside voice, like lana, they still love you
  • it doesn't matter if you're wearing the daggiest thing in the world... the worst comment you'll get is "where'd you get those clothes the... toilet store"
  • we all like the same movies... to a degree... thinking about labyrinth here...
  • no one dates each other
  • we can all pretty much be slobbish or at least not poserish... and they don't care
  • we're all musical to some degree
  • we share common hates
  • no one does drugs... and if they do i'll kill them
  • if you want to be crazy.... on most occasions, they'll join you

2. The world

  • The sun rises
  • the moon rises
  • there is dew on the grass on a cool morning
  • there are beautiful things
  • there is such a delicate balance in which everything hangs
  • there are too many things to write here
  • people are alive
  • animals are alive
  • i can watch something as simple as my dog lift her head and sniff and feel happy for the rest of the night
  • tears are as salty as the sea
  • an amoeba is one celled... unicellular
  • we all evolved from a unicellular bacterium
  • thousands of bacteria can live in any one place and you would never know there were there... millions even
  • language is as diverse as life
  • sound travels in waves, and so does water
  • the amount of any one thing on earth never changes, unless it's disposed of in space
  • bubbles are round
  • you can touch things and feel them
  • something like the internet can exist

Well, I'm listed out for a while now.

l&r

xxrosie

Sunday, November 06, 2005

I cannot workout how to put a title on this thing. It's probably really easy... but i simply am not that able. If someone would like to enlighten me, then please do. Well, i know i said i wouldnt write here until after tee but i am so bored. and i have half an hour to kill before i am going to make myself go to bed, and because neither david nor mark are entertaining me so much that i cannot type for being entertained - i have come here. I have been inspired in the past few days to study. I have sat here, for just hours, and, coupled with brief intervals of out-of-window staring, have studied like i have not before. Yet, that feeling of satisfaction has failed to come. Why not?! It's so damn annoying! I finally do what i thought would stop those guilt pangs that i interpreted as hunger pangs, but no! They have not! I have stepped into the abyss - and realised how much i actually haven't done in the past. And it's awful. If possible, i feel like i have done less in the study i have now done than i did before when i frolicked in the sun like the ectotherms i have spent the past two days explaining to the thirteen past-tee exams for biology. But enough about study. It's still sitting here in front of me and i still feel like an imbecile with all those history pages just gawking at me and threatening to sel destruct if i do not avidly update my knowledge on gorbachev and perestroika. I want to ask - what do we do now? After five - nay - twelve years, even thirteen years, of babying, we are stepping into the world of adults and big people. So, we've always been told we are too young to know anything, to feel love, to know (i'll tell you when you're older") or to understand. We've been in teenage-induced limbo for a couple of years now, too old to be children (damn transperth!) and too young to be adults. Now, we're pushed into it. I don't want to go - i dont know about some of my friends, but im satisfied at being refused alcohol, entry to clubs, with being protected and looked after. I simply cannot understand how, in 112 days, i will be fit to vote, drink, party, do adultish things and see X-rated movies, when i still want to yell "statutory rape!" when someone remotely suggests anything lewd. It doesn't make sense. There should be an adjustment period - and many of my peers will disagree, but there should be. From say, 16-18, where you can do somethings and you cant others. Ok, so you can drive and have sex, but they have to be the two most irresponsible things you can give as legal rights to teenagers. Just as michelle roberts and her "i want to raise the number of hours you have to drive as a 2nd phase L plater from 25 to 120 hours" rhetoric (i mean, come on, petrol prices woman!) will tell you. Why can't we be allowed to buy say, 4 standard drinks of alcohol per day, per week, per month, whatever, to give us a taste, so that on our 18th we don't end up sloshed and maybe even dead, or we end up sloshed or dead -even worse- illegally, under 18. It doesn't seem right. Correct me if im wrong, but you can also buy scratchies at 16. To me, that says "OK KIDS! YOU CAN HANDLE A LETHAL WEAPON, GAMBLE AWAY WHAT POTENTIALLY COULD BE A LOT OF MONEY IF YOU GET ADDICTED, AND TRY AND MAKE BABIES, BEFORE YOU ARE 18 AND ALLOWED FULL ADULT RIGHTS!" Apart from not making sense, it makes people like John Howard look boring, because he's had those rights for years and he still hasn't got a bigman voice. That had nothing to do with anything.

Alas, now we must leave. We are finished. We have been stamped, dated and booted out of existence. We have been wiped from school records (well, not really) and if we want to go back, we have to sign in as visitors. After 5 years of trekking the school yard with my uniform on, my schoolbad lagging behind me, and knowing the place back to front, it has been drawn from underneath me. For those of you not there yet, you will understand when you get here. Its a weird thing - awesome, yet terrifying. I can't explain it. To me, the weirdest thing will just be the loss of routine. The loss of a way of life, the last time i will ever sit in biol chairs, go to the toilet there, sit in history and not do work, spend lunchtimes playing murder in the dark in the storeroom. A whole lot of 'lasts' - and no idea as of yet where the firsts will begin.

Adios, estudiantes + amigos.

xxrosie

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Well, I doubt that anyone actually READS this blog, but I'm writing anyway! This will be my last post until I finish TEE and come back from LEAVERS '05! Woohoo! Suck on that everyone else who is NOT going. Suffer! I cannot WAIT to finish TEE, have several months of braindeadness, and then to (hopefully) go to uni! Yippee no school!

Love and respect to all who deserve!

xxrosie

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Let's see - I have not really ever had a personal blog before. But everything at the moment is just so hard. And I'm not one of those phony complainers who whinge and whine about nothing - I seriously am having a hard time of it. See, thing is, I just can't tell anyone. Why? Because I'm legally obliged NOT to. Sigh.

See, this problem here would not be so bad, but coupled with that, I have a performance exam on monday, TEE in two weeks, and people giving me crap left right and centre. I think, that if they do it too much, I will snap, and someone will get hurt. I fear that I could do something like that but I can feel all that pent up anger ready to just slit someone's throat.

I suppose this is just a way for me to apologise in advance if I do snap. I'm sure those of you who understand will... understand.

"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Do you mind?

xxrosie

Monday, October 17, 2005

Well THIS is my first ever post on this particular site. Isn't that so exciting! It was recommened to me by someone (cheers) and now I will complete the honour of never using a capital for the descriptive term of ones self, i, again.

So what have I been up to today? Well, i did get a wonderfully wonderful massage that was, in a word, wonderful. It was trays cool. Trays. It's that lovely feeling of relaxation and nice not sore back. It's great, it's lovely and it's wonderful. Hmm... *floats off into Land of Massage*

Yes. Well getting back to the task at hand, completing a successful post on this new and wonderful (like me) bloggy mcblog blog. OOH i must say, mahler 5 was quite the loveliness. i mean, 72 minutes is a bit long, but it really didn't seem to be that bad. it was very mahlerish of course - note 7 horns - but i could actually appreciate it. so that was good.

i do think that i will make this blog a more political one than my msn one. That way, msn can be for mindless drivel, and this one can be when i have something to say that is actually meaningful, etc, etc. It probably wont end up that way - but what the hey, i'll try.

Back to school tomorrow. Dagnabit. Mocks results. FREAK OUT. hehe. eh, what can you say/do.

Well, i think that is going to be it for this post, as i am bored and cannot think of anything to say. maybe i will do a post one day that is like, interesting! Woah!

much love and respect to all

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Hottest person in world Posted by Picasa
TEE scamming! *gasp*

Finally, the truth that Today Tonight refuses to tell COMES TO YOU ON MY BLOG.

The TEE is a scam

Brothers and sisters do not shy away from the light! Open your hearts and minds and come forth into the beam of knowledge, spring of enlightenment, etc etc.

We've all known for a billion years that the TEE is dodgy. That much is firmly established with every Year 11 and 12 student of the past coupla years.... or however this traversty of truth justice freedom and love has been continuated! But now we found out in just how many ways it is so.

Firstly, we have the the issue of scaling and moderation. It shits us all. Everything easy is scaled down, and everything hard is scaled up, but only after a certain point. If you do easy subjects, it doesn't matter how well you do, even at upper echelons such as 90% you are still scaled an enormous 20-25% down. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a thorn in the side of our moral responsibility. There are two problems with this. One, if you aren't naturally super smart and talented, but try your best and do the work to maintain a 70%, you're going to get boiled and kicked in the arse, simply because you can't do any better. Whether it's because you have problems with language, or because you can't grasp concepts as well as others, or you have a learning problem, you get the raw end of the deal for doing the easy subjects. Two, if you do hard subjects because you want to try and get a better score, it's actually quite hard to do so. If you are naturally smart, you're ok, you're set. However, if you aren't and are just trying to do the subjects for marks, it's difficult. Firstly, the work is harder. Secondly, if you don't get the required marks, you're going to be scaled down anyway. Overall, scaling is just sucky. It stuffs up everyone in one way or another. For example, our music students are automatically scaled down 10% because we attend a 'specialist music school' but essentially, that makes little or no difference to the students who do music. Our tutelage is the same as other schools, and we endure the same learning under the syllabus as every other schools. This means that a person at our school sitting on 85% is automatically scaled down to 75%, then because 75 isn't high enough, scaled down further to 70%. A person at another school, sitting on 75% will be scaled up to around 80%. So the disparity now is 10% in the favour of the other person, when originally, the achievement on 85% was 10% higher than the 75. This, my dear friends, is extremely unfair. You cannot tell me that 85% credits a drop of 15%.

Secondly, we have the issue of school results and how they are displayed. What many people don't realise is that numerous private (and even some public) schools request students who are not achieving a 'desired level of achievement' to sit the TEE as private candidates. Now, if you are one of these people and can't see the issue here, this means that the school only sits its smartest students. This drags up lower achievers and allows the school to maintain a 'high-achieving' front, even if this result only reflects 40% of the Year 12 TEE students. For example, Rossmoyne only allows (this should be taken with a grain of salt...I'm not entirely sure of the exact number) its top 20% of Year 10's to undertake TEE. OR it only allows the top 20% to sit the TEE under its name. The issue with this is that it is a misrepresentation of the schools results, resulting in high housing values in the catchment area and UNFAIR JUDGING OF SCHOOLS. You see, the reputation of a school is affected, yes, and the morale of the students is affected, granted, but the ultimate issue with this, is that the students permitted to sit under the schools name are scaled up more, and their results distorted. Tsk, tsk.

Thirdly and finally, is the issue of the disparity of education standards throughout WA. The schools at risk in such areas as Girrawheen, Cannington, etc, that is, low socio-economic area schools, are the first to suffer. They receive less funding for their TEE students, who subsequently suffer because of lack of resources. The other problem with these schools are the teachers who are delegated to these schools. From experience (my mum) teachers at such schools can become disenchanted with the system and the job, and are often not as dedicated as they once may have been. There are minimal incentives for these teachers, approximately a $10 bonus each week. Secondly, we have rural schools. Most (not all) rural schools suffer from poor educational opportunities and student interaction. The students are often unable to access valuable educational resources available in the metropolitan area, and are often required to attend to other matters that come with living out of the metro area. Many do TEE by SIDE (School of isolated and distance education) which is adequate but only barely. The level of educational opportunities for rural TEE students is appalling. Thirdly, we have public schools in general, which suffer a noted underfunding pinch on their educational credit. The figures stand at around 40% of then funding going to 60% of the students, public students. Firstly, this is unfair because often it is students who attend public schools who require greater resources. It is then even more unfair because these students cannot afford to access their own educational opportunities and so they have to go to public schools, which do not make up for their loss. Public schools often encounter some of the best teachers, but teachers who enjoy no fringe benefits and constantly are downgraded and disrespected by students, parents and the education department. A student can complain that a teacher did not sing them happy birthday in the class, and it will go onto the teachers permanent record as 'negligent'. This, my friends, is the truth of the education system today. This is an era where there is no justice -only avoiding it. Then finally, we have private schools who receive 60% of funding when they only house 40% of the students. They enjoy a rich social environment which propels them into high society circles and are afforded an often undeserved reputation as an intelligent and dedicated student. If you are truly an intelligent and dedicated student, it doesn't matter what school you go to or where you come from. However, the disparity of educational opportunities is too great to even CONSIDER that TEE is ok.

Ok, so that is my ranting down about TEE for now. There is plenty more to rant about, i know, but i could go on forever. Quite simply, it is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Oh well, injustice - the new justice.

much love and respect
xxrosie