I cannot workout how to put a title on this thing. It's probably really easy... but i simply am not that able. If someone would like to enlighten me, then please do. Well, i know i said i wouldnt write here until after tee but i am so bored. and i have half an hour to kill before i am going to make myself go to bed, and because neither david nor mark are entertaining me so much that i cannot type for being entertained - i have come here. I have been inspired in the past few days to study. I have sat here, for just hours, and, coupled with brief intervals of out-of-window staring, have studied like i have not before. Yet, that feeling of satisfaction has failed to come. Why not?! It's so damn annoying! I finally do what i thought would stop those guilt pangs that i interpreted as hunger pangs, but no! They have not! I have stepped into the abyss - and realised how much i actually haven't done in the past. And it's awful. If possible, i feel like i have done less in the study i have now done than i did before when i frolicked in the sun like the ectotherms i have spent the past two days explaining to the thirteen past-tee exams for biology. But enough about study. It's still sitting here in front of me and i still feel like an imbecile with all those history pages just gawking at me and threatening to sel destruct if i do not avidly update my knowledge on gorbachev and perestroika. I want to ask - what do we do now? After five - nay - twelve years, even thirteen years, of babying, we are stepping into the world of adults and big people. So, we've always been told we are too young to know anything, to feel love, to know (i'll tell you when you're older") or to understand. We've been in teenage-induced limbo for a couple of years now, too old to be children (damn transperth!) and too young to be adults. Now, we're pushed into it. I don't want to go - i dont know about some of my friends, but im satisfied at being refused alcohol, entry to clubs, with being protected and looked after. I simply cannot understand how, in 112 days, i will be fit to vote, drink, party, do adultish things and see X-rated movies, when i still want to yell "statutory rape!" when someone remotely suggests anything lewd. It doesn't make sense. There should be an adjustment period - and many of my peers will disagree, but there should be. From say, 16-18, where you can do somethings and you cant others. Ok, so you can drive and have sex, but they have to be the two most irresponsible things you can give as legal rights to teenagers. Just as michelle roberts and her "i want to raise the number of hours you have to drive as a 2nd phase L plater from 25 to 120 hours" rhetoric (i mean, come on, petrol prices woman!) will tell you. Why can't we be allowed to buy say, 4 standard drinks of alcohol per day, per week, per month, whatever, to give us a taste, so that on our 18th we don't end up sloshed and maybe even dead, or we end up sloshed or dead -even worse- illegally, under 18. It doesn't seem right. Correct me if im wrong, but you can also buy scratchies at 16. To me, that says "OK KIDS! YOU CAN HANDLE A LETHAL WEAPON, GAMBLE AWAY WHAT POTENTIALLY COULD BE A LOT OF MONEY IF YOU GET ADDICTED, AND TRY AND MAKE BABIES, BEFORE YOU ARE 18 AND ALLOWED FULL ADULT RIGHTS!" Apart from not making sense, it makes people like John Howard look boring, because he's had those rights for years and he still hasn't got a bigman voice. That had nothing to do with anything.

Alas, now we must leave. We are finished. We have been stamped, dated and booted out of existence. We have been wiped from school records (well, not really) and if we want to go back, we have to sign in as visitors. After 5 years of trekking the school yard with my uniform on, my schoolbad lagging behind me, and knowing the place back to front, it has been drawn from underneath me. For those of you not there yet, you will understand when you get here. Its a weird thing - awesome, yet terrifying. I can't explain it. To me, the weirdest thing will just be the loss of routine. The loss of a way of life, the last time i will ever sit in biol chairs, go to the toilet there, sit in history and not do work, spend lunchtimes playing murder in the dark in the storeroom. A whole lot of 'lasts' - and no idea as of yet where the firsts will begin.

Adios, estudiantes + amigos.

xxrosie